


Viper Strikes and Their Antidote

by MargotCelvin



Series: The Nature of Losers [3]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Aged-Up Losers Club (IT), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know what all to tag this, It doesn't happen and is more implied but still, M/M, Not Beta Read, Past Sexual Abuse, i might be sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:01:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28368813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MargotCelvin/pseuds/MargotCelvin
Summary: Stan thought everything would be fine when he went away to college, they were in a different state entirely. God, he hated being wrong.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Stanley Uris/Original Male Character(s) (past)
Series: The Nature of Losers [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1502531
Kudos: 8





	Viper Strikes and Their Antidote

**Author's Note:**

> I am very sorry about this but like I had to get all the angst out. Like the tags said, nothing graphic happens and it is more than not implied but if the subject matter bothers you please don't read this. I would hate for someone to get triggered or incredibly upset because of something I wrote.
> 
> I like can't be bothered to edit this all that much anymore so sorry about anything that's wrong.
> 
> Anyway, I wrote the return of Sam. You probably don't need to read the previous two parts to understand what's going on but it might be slightly helpful.

“You want to piss your mom off one more time before we leave?” Richie asked.

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked from where he was standing next to the passenger side of Richie’s car.

“She’s watching from the window, right?” Eddie nodded, still a little confused. “I’m gonna do this and then we gotta run, okay?”

“Okay,” Eddie’s suspicion of what was going to happen was somewhat confirmed when Richie leaned down and kissed Eddie a lot harder than he had in public before. Sure, they had made out in the school bathroom before but this was completely out in the open and in clear view of his mother; who very quickly opened the door and shouted at the two of them. The two separated and jumped in Richie’s car. They were off of Eddie’s street in record time.

“I can’t believe you let me do that.”

“I wouldn’t have if I knew you were going to go that hard,” Richie didn’t know if Eddie really sounded angry because of how heavily he was breathing, adrenaline will do that to a kid.

“Wait, really?” Eddie sighed, finally getting his breathing under control.

“I still probably would’ve let you do it. It’s fun to irritate her. And I can always stay with you for breaks so I’m really not concerned with what she thinks anymore.” Richie stopped his car and looked over at Eddie. “What?”

“I love you so much.” Eddie leaned over and pecked Richie’s lips with his own.

“I know. Now would you drive already? I want to get there before Stan and Bill get there,” Richie recognized the tone of Eddie’s voice and it was going to be a very long drive.

“Yes sir.” Richie started driving again, a lot faster than he would like to admit.

Stan and Bill were outside of Stan’s house as they finished packing up Bill’s truck with all their stuff. Bill had just finished tying the boxes down when he rounded the truck to see Stan was leaning against the front of it.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Stan didn’t sound like he was sure, or maybe he just wasn’t completely there. He was also playing with the necklace Bill gave him for Christmas, which he only ever did when he was thinking about something.

“You good?” Stan shook his head and shut his eyes to keep something back, although Bill didn’t know what it was. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t go,” Stan opened his eyes but didn’t look at Bill. He was curling in on himself. He pulled his sleeves down over his hands and couldn’t stop fidgeting all of a sudden.

“Why not?” This was such a shock to Bill. Stan had been the one that had put Massachusetts State in the running for schools for them to go to. He had been so excited when they all got accepted and when he found out that four of them were going to be living together and the other three would be a building over.

“He’s gonna be there.” Bill didn’t need to ask who Stan was talking about. Even if there wasn’t only one person that Stan refused to say the name of, the shake in Stan’s voice would’ve given it away. He was talking about Sam.

“He’s going to Mass State?”

“Well- well not exactly but he’s going to a school about half an hour away. I liked Mass State because it was far enough away that I thought he wouldn’t be able to find me.” It was also because it was a good school and his friends would be there but those reasons seemed like nothing at this exact moment.

“How do you know that?”

“His sister is dating Desirae and she told me about it. They both just think it’s an ex-boyfriend situation but I can’t go Bill. I am so sorry.”

“Hey, look at me.” Stan looked up, although there was still so much terror behind his eyes. “It’s your choice in the end, I’m not gonna force you to do anything. But if you decide to come with us, I won’t let him put a single hand on you. The others won’t either.”

“You promise?”

“I’ll kill him before I let him do anything to you again, okay?”

“Okay.”

“You trust me, right?”

“Yeah.” Stan still didn’t sound sure of what he was saying.

“We can go through every precaution to make sure he can’t get near you. I will do whatever I have to do to keep you safe. But, if you really don’t want to risk it, if you want to stay here, I won’t love you any less for it.”

“I want to go. I’m just so fucking scared.”

“If you decide to come with and then decide to leave, I will help you pack up and I’ll drive you back here. I think it’ll be worse if you’re by yourself, but the decision is yours.” Stan seemed to think about it for a long time. Both options had their pros and cons. But he trusted Bill, a lot. He knew that what Bill was saying was true. He knew it would be worse for him to be on his own. He knew that. So, why was there a voice in his head that told him to stay?

“I’ll go.” He didn’t realize he had said that until he noticed some of the tension seep out of Bill’s shoulders. That reaction alone made it a little more okay that he agreed to go with.

“Okay. Just remember, I’ll bring you home whenever you want. No questions asked.” Stan nodded and wrapped his arms around Bill’s neck and pulled him closer, Bill returned the gesture just as quickly. He didn’t want to stay in Derry. He wanted to go with them and he wanted to be happy. He had been doing so good since he had Bill had started dating. He thought maybe he would be able to, and at first it seemed promising.

Stan had been doing well for the first month. He hadn’t seen Sam the whole time. He was pretty sure Sam didn’t have a reason to be here, but the thought still scared him. But he also had Bill and all their friends and they all looked out for him, and they did really well at making sure he was okay and that he was safe. But everyone makes mistakes.

Stan was washing his hands when he thought he saw someone go into the showers, which was normal since it was a community bathroom. He didn’t think anything of it. He did notice that the bathroom door was closed, which was strange but it certainly wasn’t the first time it had happened. He opened the door and saw the person standing on the other side, this guy didn’t say anything and just looked over to the shower area. Stan followed his gaze and saw the face he had finally stopped having such frequent nightmares about.

Stan didn’t mean to let go of the door, but it was easily pulled out of his hands in his shock. He didn’t want to let it show how scared he was looking at that face. Stan squared his shoulders and had to physically force himself not to curl in on himself, no matter how much he wanted to.

He had cut his hair but not much more of him had changed. They both stared at each other for a moment. While Stan looked at him in fear that he was trying so desperately to hide, Sam was looking at Stan trying to figure out how much he had changed in the almost two years that they hadn’t really seen each other.

“That’s not your flannel.” Stan wanted to be surprised that this was the first thing that Sam would say. However, Sam always tried to catch people off guard to get them to do what he wanted them to do. Stan wasn’t going to fall for it this time.

“No, it’s not.” Stan was trying his hardest to sound a lot more confident than he really was. He knew Sam saw right through it. This wasn’t the first time he had tried it.

“Where’d you get it?” Any outsider that heard this conversation would probably think that it was just two people catching up after not seeing each other. A catching up conversation that involved one tight voice and one that sounded overly confident.

“None of your business.”

“Come here.” Sam sounded like he was telling Stan to come here in a way that wasn’t going to involve something terrible.

“No.”

“Not an option.” Stan tried his hardest to stand his ground and fight back against the hand that tried to pull him closer, but Sam had always been a lot stronger than he was. That hadn’t changed either with how easily he was able to pull Stan into the showers and onto the ground. Stan caught himself enough to not hit his head on anything, but that was about it. He pushed himself up in time to see Sam closed the space between them. Stan wanted to run, but he was frozen.

“Now what’s this I hear about someone else playing with my toy?” Sam crouched down so they were about the same height. His hand went towards Stan’s face and he flinched away before Sam could really touch him. The hands had always been the worst part. “You know I’m not good at sharing.”

“He’s not playing with me because I’m not a toy.”

“Oh yeah, then what are you? He certainly isn’t with you because he cares about you. He’s only with you to play, and maybe out of sympathy. You’re nothing but a broken toy.”

“I’m a fucking human being who never belonged to you.” Sam reacted how he always did, rough fingers wrapped around Stan’s throat. Stan tried to pull the hand away but every time he did Sam only tightened his grip. He really was back in Hell. Stan could see black spots appear in his vision, how long had Sam been holding him like this?

“I always hated when you said that.” Stan did the only thing he could think of when Sam shifted his grip, he begged as much as he could, it only came out as a hoarse, whispered ‘please’. Sam actually let go of Stan but it was only because he threw him back farther into the showers. Stan coughed as he tried to catch his breath. His vision cleared as he blinked a few times. His throat was already sore and he knew it was only going to get worse. He didn’t have much time to be actually free from those hands since Sam grabbed onto Stan’s face and forced their eyes to meet. His hand dropped only slightly to hook a finger around the chain around Stan’s neck.

Sam pulled the necklace out from under Stan’s shirt and looked at it. He pulled the pendant closer to himself to get a better look at the design. Stan could feel the clasp of the chain digging into the back of his neck. He didn’t want Sam to flip the necklace around and see the writing on the other side. But he did.

“Birdie, huh. Guess he gave you a nickname too. Do you remember the one I gave you?” Stan nodded; how could he forget it? “Good.” Sam dropped the necklace then. Stan was relieved that Sam didn’t break it anyway. He was less relieved when Sam’s hand migrated back up to Stan’s face.

“You know, you always were my favorite toy. Always so soft but could really take it.” He ran the pad of his thumb across Stan’s bottom lip. Stan hated that he knew this memory of the motion was going to replace the nice one he had. Bill had done the same thing a few days ago when he said something along the lines of how much he loved how soft Stan’s lips were. They were talking about the fact that Bill kept accidentally washing his Chapstick and he needed to stop before the air started to dry.

“You know I showed back up in Derry to find you. You looked really good at prom. I watched you graduate. I came to your house sometimes, but you stopped coming home. Did you do it on purpose?” Stan shook his head. He didn’t even know Sam was in Derry. “I will say, your anniversary thing was cute.” Stan’s heart sank even further, it that were possible. Sam was there for that?

“Someone will come looking for me soon,” Stan tried.

“It won’t matter.” Stan knew that was true. They would have to get past the guy outside and take on an angry Sam, something very few had been able to beat. “And just so you know, after I’m done here, your friends are next. Don’t think I don’t remember who they are.”

Stan knew that Sam would remember his friends. His friends that had all ganged up on him and burned down Sam’s weird sex shed that had been in the woods behind his house. He told them not to but they didn’t listen. His friends that were going to dead soon after he was. He knew he wasn’t making it out of this alive. He just wished he could actually say good-bye to his friends, the people he actually loved.

“Now back to what I was doing,” Sam had dropped his face and stood back up, “Why don’t you remind me why you were my favorite.” Stan thought that maybe death would be a good thing. He had just wanted this whole thing to be over, but here he was again. Stan knew where this was going. He wasn’t going to be able to breathe and not because of hands this time.

Further down the hallway Stan’s three roommates were working on homework while soft music of Stan’s choice was playing in the background. Bill noticed that more than one song had passed since Stan had left, which concerned Bill a lot.

“Rich,” Richie looked up from his homework to look at Bill. “How long ago did Stan go to the bathroom?”

“Like five minutes ago,” Richie looked a lot more concerned as he realized what Bill was thinking. “Want to check it out?”

“I was going to be concerned if you didn’t.” They both stood up to look out the door and look down at the bathroom. Bill saw the guy standing outside the bathroom and knew it could not be a good sign. Richie grabbed his metal water bottle, told Eddie to stay here and lock the doors, and nodded to Bill. Richie clearly had a plan and Bill was just going to go with it.

“Pretend that you need to pee to get into the bathroom,” Richie whispered as they started down the hall. When they made it to the guy Bill stopped and Richie went down to the water fountain.

“Can you move? I gotta pee.”

“Go to the other bathrooms.”

“The one of the other side is a girl’s bathroom.”

“There are other floors.”

“I’m not going up two floors to pee, just move.” The guy went to say something else but didn’t get any of it out as he fell to the floor. Richie had topped of his water bottle and it turned out to make a really good weapon to hit people in the head with. “Go get your keys and Eddie and meet me by your car.”

Richie nodded and went back to their room. Bill opened the door as quietly as he could and listened for anything that seemed suspicious. He didn’t have to wait that long.

“Why don’t you remind me why you were my favorite,” he heard a voice echo from around the corners where the showers were. Bill walked up behind the man he wanted dead and tapped his shoulder.

Stan was staring straight down at his feet. Stan hated that he knew what was going to happen. Stan hated that he couldn’t change a thing about it. Stan shut his eyes to maybe pretend he was in a different situation. Also, so that maybe then he wouldn’t cry and things wouldn’t be worse.

“Who the fuck-” Stan heard the question begin before it was quickly cut off and replaced with a loud thud. Stan opened his eyes and saw that there was a second pair of legs, but these ones were recognizable for a good reason. Stan looked up and saw Bill shaking out his hand. Bill looked at Stan and completely forgot about his hand hurting.

“Come on.”

“What?”

“Come on. We’re leaving.” As angry as Bill was, he was able to keep it all out of his voice. Stan still couldn’t move, he stared at Sam’s unconscious body, almost like he was in shock. “Stan,” Bill stepped over Sam’s legs so he was closer to Stan and crouched down, he made sure not to touch Stan since it would make things worse, “Richie is outside with the car, we’re gonna leave for a bit, okay?”

Stan finally met Bill’s eyes and nodded. He stood up, although it was slow and rigid. Bill stuck his hand out for Stan to take if he wanted to, although he just shook his head. Bill let Stan get in front of him as they walked out. Bill figured that if either of them woke up before they got to Richie’s car it would be a little safer for him to be the first person they got to.

Richie had pulled his car up next to the building and was anxiously tapping on his steering wheel until he saw Bill and Stan exit the building. Stan slid into the seat behind Richie, although he was still silent. Richie drove off. The whole car was silent until Stan finally spoke.

“How did he find me?” It was a question they had all been thinking. None of them had made any kind of public announcement about where they were going, they just never felt the need to.

“I don’t know Stan,” Bill answered, although it was the answer all of them came up with.

“How did he fucking find me!?” Stan’s voice was sharp as he yelled at Bill.

“I don’t know,” Bill kept his voice as soft as he could.

“This is your fucking fault.” Stan looked back out the window. Bill wanted to pretend that Stan’s words didn’t sting, but they did. “Where are we going?”

“I was just driving. I’ll go wherever you want.”

“We should be going to the police,” Eddie said under his breath although they all still heard his comment.

“What do you think Stan?” Richie asked looking back at Stan through the rear-view mirror.

“Whatever.”

“This is not a whatever situation Stan. Had Bill not noticed that you had been gone for too long this could have ended so much worse. You could be dead right now and you know it,” Eddie had turned around in his seat to partially yell at Stan. He was just concerned and hated that Stan was just so fine with the idea of not going to the police. Eddie had argued for it the first time this happened but they all knew the Derry Police were utter shit. But Eddie was right, he could be dead.

“You were the one that realized it?” Stan looked at Bill and asked.

“Yeah.” Stan looked back down at the seat and the hand that sat between them. One that he knew was so different than the one that had been wrapped around his throat a few minutes ago. This one was soft. This one had a small scar on the side by the index finger. This one still had that ink stain from over a year ago. This one was only ever gentle. This one knew when to stop.

“Okay.”

“Okay to police?” Richie asked. Stan nodded although he didn’t look up from the hand on the seat between them. Bill noticed and lifted his hand slightly but didn’t move it further. Stan looked up at Bill. He vaguely heard Richie tell Eddie to tell the others and to get his attackers. 

“I know how this goes,” Bill’s voice was soft. Stan tugged on Bill’s hand so Bill would scoot closer to him. He did and Stan sat his head on Bill’s shoulder. Stan had both hands wrapped around Bill’s and rubbed random patterns into it with his thumbs.

“I’m so sorry.” Stan had finally realized what he said. He knew it wasn’t Bill’s fault that Sam had found him. Sam would’ve found him no matter what. Sam was persistent and obsessive and didn’t like to lose, especially his toys. Sam had stalked him of course he knew where he went to school. This was certainly not Bill’s fault.

“I’m not mad.” He wasn’t.

“But I said it was your fault.”

“It’s no one’s fault but his.” Bill was sure that Stan would start blaming himself somehow, but this really all was Sam’s fault.

“Why are you so okay with what I said?” Bill let his eyes flick up for a second to confirm what he already thought was happening, Richie and Eddie were paying attention to their conversation now.

“I’m not, but now’s not the time to talk about it.”

“Why not? If you’re gonna leave me you might as well do it now.”

“I’m not going to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to stay with me out of sympathy.”

“I’m not. Why would you think I was?” Stan didn’t answer, he tightened his grip on Bill’s hand and tried his best to choke back his tears. Bill understood that answer, all of them in the car did. Richie and Bill had the same thought, they wished they killed that kid. Eddie thought death was too kind of a punishment for him. The drive was silent from there on out.

While Richie was starting to kind of explain to the person at the front desk what happened so that they could speak to the right people, the other three showed up. Bev pulled Stan into a hug and although Bill was mildly concerned that Stan would freak, he actually melted into it quickly. Bill didn’t know about what Bev had been through and that the two of them had bonded over it. She whispered something to him but no one could hear it except Stan.

Stan was shaking as he told the officers what had happened in the other room. The others could only watch from the other side of the glass. They would more than likely all have to make statements, especially if Stan told the officers what all happened in Maine too. Bill hadn’t stopped pacing.

“Bill, calm down. Or at least sit down,” Ben tried his hardest the get Bill to calm down enough to get the murderous look off his face.

“I c-can’t. You said they were g-g-gone. What if they’re on their way here? They c-could. R-R-Richie and I t-t-technically assaulted them,” Bill sighed heavily at the fact that his stutter was back. He wasn’t shocked that it was but it was still annoying as hell.

“It was to protect someone else though,” Ben just wanted this to be fine, he thought that keeping his optimistic outlook would help. It usually did.

“I don’t know if that means much in the eyes of the law,” Bev hated to be this pessimistic but it was a point that needed to be made. None of them knew how things like this worked. She was pretty sure that there was some kind of law that made it more okay since it was to defend someone else but that could’ve been something that she imagined.

“Well it should. Because the two of you acted the way you did, you stopped-” Eddie groaned instead of finishing that thought. He didn’t want to say what they stopped. He didn’t want to think about it. He was just so goddamn frustrated. He looked at Richie and asked, “Do you have your smokes on you?”

“Always.”

“Gimme one?”

“I’ll go with you; I need one too. Let us know if anything happens.” The two of them walked out of the police station and into the night.

Richie handed a cigarette to Eddie and helped him light it. It wasn’t the first time Eddie had smoked but he usually took Richie’s already started ones. Richie lit his own and leaned against the wall. They were probably supposed to step away from the building but neither of them could get themselves to leave.

“I fucking hate all of this,” Eddie was the one that spoke first.

“I know what you mean.”

“Stan only came with us because Bill promised to keep him safe. Stan’s going to think that Bill broke his promise and he’ll probably leave and then we really won’t be able to stop this if it happens again.”

“I had that thought too.” He had, but even if he didn’t, he wasn’t about to argue with Eddie in this exact moment.

“I know he’s not going to believe me, but Stan is better off here than anywhere else. If we let the police on campus know what these guys look like they can kick them off campus or arrest them or something. Stan can get a restraining order. We can do better to make sure he’s not alone ever again. There’s so much we can do with him staying here but he’s not going to believe any of it.” Richie wrapped an arm around Eddie and pulled him into his chest. “I just can’t lose any of you and I know Sam will find him again if he’s off on his own and what if none of us are there to stop it next time.”

“He might decide to stay, especially since he found out it was Bill that noticed he was gone. We’ll try our fucking hardest to get him to stay. I promise.” Eddie had almost completely forgotten why they were outside since he curled into Richie’s chest and finally let his frustrated tears spill from his eyes. They stayed out there until Eddie was finally done stress crying and both of their cigarettes were done. They joined the other four inside and saw that they were still trying to get Bill to not look like he was considering murder.

It wouldn’t be another hour until Stan was finally done talking to the officers. He hadn’t stopped shaking. Bill hadn’t stopped pacing so he was still standing when Stan made it back to the waiting room. Stan was the one that closed the space between them, Bill instinctively wrapped his arms around Stan although it was a pretty loose grip.

“Are you Bill?” Bill looked up at the officer that had asked the question, he nodded as an answer. “We need you to come and make a statement.” Bill nodded again and turned his head so Stan would be able to hear him.

“I have to go, but I’ll be right b-back.” Stan shook his head and tightened his grip on Bill’s shirt. Bill looked around Stan and at the officer again, “Can I have a minute?” The officer nodded and went back into the interview room, leaving the door partially open so Bill could go in.

“I hated all of that.”

“I’m s-sure you did.”

“I had to tell them all of it. Every terrible thing he ever did to me. I’ve never told anyone all of it. What if I told them everything and nothing comes out of it?”

“Something good will c-c-come out of all of this. I have to go talk to them; I’ll be as fast as I c-can okay?” Stan leaned back but he didn’t let go. “I’ll be right in there, you’ll b-be able to see me and I’ll be able to see you.” Stan nodded and finally let go.

“Just be fast.” Bill kissed Stan’s forehead and agreed before he went into the interview room. He sat down on the couch across from the officers and looked out the window to the waiting room to see Stan sit with Bev and Mike before he turned his attention to the officers.

“We just have a couple of questions for you.”

“Okay.”

“What all do you know about the relationship between Stan and Sam?”

“I d-don’t know all of it, I wasn’t around for the parts back in Maine. But I know it was bad. I know that Stan has to know where p-peoples’ hands are, especially mine and in more intimate moments. I know he doesn’t tr-trust people and it takes him a long time to open up. I know he almost always wears l-l-long sleeves and l-large sweaters to hide the scars. I know he just stopped having so many nightmares about that guy.” Bill sighed again. He needed to stop stuttering. He knew that slowing how fast he was talking would help but that would mean that he would take longer and Stan needed him to be fast. So, maybe these two would just have to deal with stuttering Bill.

“Were you involved in what happened tonight?”

“Yeah. Stan went to the bathroom and I n-noticed that he had been gone for what s-seemed like a long time. Richie and I went to check and we saw this guy standing in the hallway making sure no one got in. Richie knocked him out and I w-went into the bathroom. I knocked Sam out and then I got Stan out of there.”

“What was your justification for attacking Sam?”

“When I walked into the bathroom, I heard him say, ‘Why don’t you remind me why you were my favorite.’ S-Sam called the people he abused toys and I know he said Stan was his f-f-favorite. Sam was friends with some of the other guys on the football team back home and they would t-t-talk about it sometimes. I just didn’t know one of them was Stan and I didn’t really know how b-bad it was. He always made it sound like they enjoyed it.”

“So, you acted in the defense of someone else?”

“Yeah.”

“What is your relationship with Stan?” Bill felt a little more relaxed at that question for some reason. Maybe because he could think about all the good things about their relationship. He could think about how the last year had been the best time of his life and so much of it could be attributed to Stan.

“We’ve been dating for over a year but I’ve known him since middle school. We also live with Richie and Eddie on the Honors floor at Mass State.”

“Can you describe both Sam and the other man that was outside of the bathroom?”

“Sure. I didn’t see much of Sam, mostly just the back of him. He had sandy blond hair that was kind of an undercut. He was wearing dark clothes. The other guy who I don’t know the name of had dark brown hair, green eyes, a gap between his front two teeth, and a couple scars on his chin. He was also in some pretty dark clothes.” Bill was impressed when he didn’t stutter. Maybe it was because this seemed like some weird form of character description to him.

“Thank you. I think that’s all we have right now, but if you could please write down some contact information just in case we have any other questions for you as well as a general statement as to what happened tonight.” Bill nodded and wrote down as much information as he could think of. He hadn’t realized that his leg had been bouncing the whole time. He was sure the detectives noticed this; they were detectives after all.

Bill finished as quickly as he could. It turned out that he had been in there for almost fifteen minutes, although it seemed much shorter to Bill. The detectives called Richie into the room, although Mike moved to one of the other couches as well. Bill took his spot next to Stan, who almost immediately tucked himself into Bill’s neck.

When Bev was called in, Stan finally pulled his head out and ground the heels of his palms into his eyes. He hadn’t even cried in a bit but his eyes still itched like crazy. Stan shivered and scooted closer to Bill who instinctively wrapped his arm around Stan. Stan lied his head on Bill’s shoulder hoping to get warmer somehow.

“So, Georgie was talking about coming out this weekend,” Bill’s voice was soft enough so only Stan could hear. Not that it mattered since the others would figure out that they were talking about somehow. There were almost no secrets in this group. They all liked that fact.

“Georgie can drive?” Stan lifted his head slightly so that he could see Bill’s face.

“Yeah he got his license a couple weeks ago.” 

“Do you think it’s a good idea to let him come out here?” Bill wrapped his other arm around Stan, mimicking one of the first times they had been in a position like this. That moment seemed like a lifetime ago even though it was only a little under a year and a half ago.

“I think it’ll make both of you feel better.”

“Did you tell him what happened?” Stan looked and sounded really concerned all of a sudden. Bill understood why since Stan never told anyone any of this unless they really needed to know.

“No,” Bill pushed some of Stan’s hair out of his face so that he could see all of his face, “but he asked if he could call and I said not right now because we had just gotten to the police station. And then of course he asked why and I said it had to do with you but you were fine and it was just a lot of statement giving. He was worried.”

“Thank you for not telling him all of it.” Stan seemed a little better after that.

“I would never. So, what do you think about him coming out?”

“I think he would be a nice change of pace.”

“Okay, I’ll let him know.” Bill was really glad that Stan was fine with his little brother coming out. Georgie had been freaking out for hours since Bill wouldn’t really tell him what was going on. Stan was Georgie’s favorite person that he wasn’t related to and the thought that he wasn’t okay was killing Georgie.

“Was he waiting for me to say okay?” Bill nodded. The Denbrough brothers were always some of the nicest kids you would ever meet. They both knew how hard it was to live with trauma. They both knew when they needed to stop pushing and just wait.

Getting all the statements would take another hour and a half. Stan would spend most of it shaking. One of the detectives had brought him a blanket but it didn’t do much. Stan was always cold and it only got worse when any of his emotions ran high. One of the officers called all of them into the interview room.

“So, we’ve gotten all of your statements. We put out a warrant for Sam, hopefully he can be found soon. In the meantime, I want you to get a protection order against him. The courthouse will be open tomorrow and I’ll send them a note with all of the statements so that you won’t have to go through all of that again. Go home. Get some sleep.”

“Can you guys send someone to check out their rooms?” Bev asked, she knew it would make Stan feel better if his rooms were checked out before he stayed in them for the night. Maybe he would be able to get some sleep.

“Yeah. It’s going to be easier for us to use the police on campus. They’re kind of like an outreach of this station. If you let me know what rooms need to be checked out, I’ll have them wait for you to get there.”

“Thank you,” Bev said before she gave them the boys’ room numbers. She ended up giving them hers as well as Mike and Ben’s, just in case. They all left the station after that. Bev hugged Stan for what seemed like a long time once they were outside, almost like she was afraid that if she let go Stan would disappear. They separated into their two cars and started the decently short drive back to campus.

The only voice that filled the car was Richie’s radio. None of them knew what was playing, all of them were too lost in their own heads. Stan was terrified that Sam was still going to be around when they got back to campus. He was also trying to get Sam’s voice out of his head, the voice that told him Bill wasn’t with him because he cared. He tried to replace that thought with Bill telling him that was a load of shit. Eddie was chewing at his nails as he tried to convince himself that Stan wasn’t going to leave. That they would be able to convince him to stay. That they would convince him that he was better off here. His thoughts only changed when Richie grabbed his hand to end the nail biting. Then Eddie just tried to think about happy moments, it didn’t work all that well. Richie tried to focus on the road and the little bit of noise the music created but he was also concerned that Sam would still be there. What would he do if he saw Sam again? Richie tried to convince himself that he wouldn’t resort straight to murder but he really couldn’t.

The other car was just as quiet and just as tense. Bev tried to distract herself with the radio to keep her mind off of her own experiences. She had tried going to the Derry Police but it only made things worse. She was sure that things would turn out better this time, but there was a small part of her that feared this would end the same way her situation did. Mike watched Bev out of the corner of his eye as he drove. He knew what had happened with Bev and was trying to figure out where he could hide a body around campus if the need arose for one. Ben tried not to look as scared as he was. He was scared for Stan. He was scared for Bill. He was scared for Richie. He was scared for all of them. All of them had played a part in this strange play they found themselves in. This wasn’t the first time Sam had been beaten by one of them to save Stan. What if he came better prepared next time? Would he ever stop? Would this ever be over? Ben didn’t know and that scared the hell out of him.

Bill didn’t like where his train of thought was going. He didn’t like that all he could think about was Sam being in their rooms when they got back. He didn’t want to think about all the terrible things that could happen to them if Sam was there. Bill didn’t know how far Sam was willing to go to get to Stan. He knew that Stan had been holding onto his hand as they drove but it took him a long time to realize that he was holding onto Stan just as tightly. Bill looked from their conjoined hands to Stan’s face to make sure it was alright, when Stan confirmed it was, although it was silently, he went back to the terrible train of thought he had been on previously.

Bill didn’t realize how lost in thought he had been until Richie pulled into their building’s parking lot and parked the car. They had a decently close spot so Richie didn’t feel like he needed to drop Stan and someone else off at the door. Bill saw a few of the campus security officers standing inside the door. They didn’t need to ask many questions about who the four were when they saw the police station blanket still draped around Stan’s shoulders. The one noticed how tightly he was clutching onto Bill’s hand but they didn’t say anything about it.

The rooms were clear. It didn’t look as though anyone except for the rooms’ occupants had been in the rooms in days, which was true. The other three hadn’t been over since the weekend before. Their suite was the easiest place to hang out since there was space for all of them to sleep. Both couples that lived in those rooms had unbanked their beds because it made sleeping together so much easier but the couch and chair in the middle room made it so there was plenty of space for them to sleep.

That night was rough. Stan would only sleep for about an hour before he would wake up from a nightmare. Stan always tried his hardest not to wake Bill up when he woke up, but that never worked. Stan always woke up with a vice grip on Bill and was tense and shaking. He tried not to cry but that didn’t work a couple times.

After the fifth time, Stan gave up on the idea of sleep. But then again, so did Bill. They had resorted to Stan being curled into Bill’s chest with Bill’s arms encircling him. Bill had also started trailing his fingers over Stan’s spine at some point but neither of them knew when that started. 

“Can we talk about what I said?” Stan’s voice was quiet but it was louder than the silence that was surrounding them and caused Bill’s hand to stop moving. Bill looked down at Stan’s head, although all he saw were curls since Stan’s face was still buried in his chest.

“Are you sure you want to do that right now?” Bill had been more than willing to put off this conversation for as long as possible. Tonight had already been exhausting and he knew the next few days were going to be terrible. They both knew that all of them were going to be skipping classes for the next two days and then Georgie was going to come out but that didn’t mean all that much when it came to how tired and anxious Stan was going to be.

He knew that campus security was on the lookout for Sam and his accomplice but it didn’t matter. Stan didn’t know how the two of them got into the building. He didn’t know if the other person went to this school. He didn’t know if they were still in the building. He did know that Sam was going to be out for blood, and not just his anymore. Sam remembered faces. He already knew all of Stan’s friends but now he knew how Bill fit into all this. None of them could be alone until he was found.

“I’m not going to feel right if we don’t.” Stan just wanted to make one thing right, make one tiny part of his life okay. Even if it meant that Bill left him. He just wanted it off his conscious.

“Then of course.” Bill wrapped his other arm around Stan, he didn’t know if it was helpful tonight but it had been in the past.

Stan wasn’t sure if he was okay with the action or not. He knew that the thought of someone touching him reminded him of Sam, but he also felt safer because it was Bill. He just wanted to be okay and if this was even somewhat helping then he could convince himself it was fine. But he wasn’t the only person it was helping and he knew it. His friends were terrified for him. They had seen what happened to him after the first time, they didn’t want it to happen again. They may not have been in the room at this exact moment but the information would be relayed to them. He couldn’t shut them out this time. But there was also Bill. After every nightmare of Stan’s that he had seen he had to try so hard not to touch Stan, touch was just how Bill showed that he cared. In times like this, it was how he convinced himself that Stan was still there, that he was safe. Stan had gotten better with the situation but it just depended on the night. So, if Stan letting Bill’s arms wrap around him helped all of them, then so be it.

“I know what I said was wrong. I know I shouldn’t have blamed you because you didn’t do anything wrong, in fact you did everything right. It’s just a lot easier to blame the good people when the bad guy drilled it into your head that he was right.”

“Stan, I’m not upset that you said it. Well, I am but I understand. I blame myself for Georgie. He doesn’t but I do. Because like you said, it’s a lot easier to blame the good guy for not being able to stop the bad guy instead of just blaming the bad guy for acting the way he did.”

“Bill, I love you and I am so sorry but I totally understand if you don’t want to deal with all of this and you want to leave and-”

“Hey,” Bill interrupted, although he wasn’t harsh in it, “stop saying I’m going to leave you, because I’m not.”

“You’re not?” This was the first time Bill noticed that Stan was crying. He was normally good at hiding it but the hitch in Stan’s voice gave it away instantly.

“I love you and I’m not leaving. And I will tell you that every day until you believe me,” Bill punctuated his statement by kissing the top of Stan’s head, at least what he could reach. Bill didn’t see the small smirk that graced Stan’s features, but he did feel some of the tension leave Stan’s muscles.

“You’re the only reason I feel safe anymore,” Stan’s voice was so soft Bill was barely able to make it out. On any other night, Bill would assume that it was because Stan was falling asleep, but he knew that wasn’t the case tonight. Stan was more than likely just a little embarrassed at how ‘cheesy’ he was being, even though it was true.

“I think our friends would be insulted if they heard that.”

“They help during the day. But the night has always been worse and you’re the only one that’s here during that time.”

“That’s because I’m the only one you let be here during that time.”

“Semantics.” Stan could feel the slight chuckle in Bill’s chest. He loved the feeling. He loved knowing that Bill was alive and there and that he actually cared. It was one of the first things he ever fell in love with when it came to Bill.

The moment was the lightest they had had all night. That was until another important question popped into Bill’s head. He didn’t want to ask it, but it was too important to ignore.

“Do you want me to take you back to Derry?” Stan was quiet for a long time. “I can always have Georgie take you back since he’s coming out.” He still didn’t respond. “Stan? What do you think?” Stan sat up and looked at Bill completely. His eyes were red and his face was flushed from crying, but he also seemed lost in his own head for a moment before he responded.

“I don’t know. I want to stay but I’m scared.” Stan was trying to figure out the best course of action logically, that was how he always tried to be. “But I also know that if I’m alone, he could find me. And if I go home, I’ll have to explain to my parents everything and they don’t know any of it.” Bill wrapped his hand around Stan’s.

“It’s up to you, whatever you want to do.” Bill didn’t want Stan to leave. Bill was pretty sure that if Stan left, he would too. It would only get worse if Stan left them.

“Do I have to make a decision right now?”

“No. Of course not. I told you that you could make the decision whenever you wanted to. I just thought I’d ask.” Stan nodded slightly but didn’t move otherwise. “Something wrong?”

“I just realized I haven’t eaten in forever.” Stan was one of those people that liked structure, eating at regular intervals helped.

“You want something to eat?” Stan nodded. “I think we still have some cereal.”

“We still have Lucky Charms?”

“Should. You want that?” Stan nodded and let go of Bill’s hand. Bill stood up and held his hand out for Stan to take. Stan scrunched his eyebrows at the gesture. He didn’t really want to get up. “I’m not leaving you alone, for any reason.”

“You really don’t have to do that.” It wasn’t that Stan wasn’t afraid, he was. He just didn’t like the feeling of inconveniencing people, especially those he was close to. That was one of the reasons it took Stan so long to tell his friends about Sam in the first place. Although it had really been Richie that had found out how bad it was.

“Just humor me.” It was such a simple statement but it meant so much to Stan. Bill could’ve said that a hundred other ways. He could’ve made it seem like Stan didn’t have a choice in the matter, because he really didn’t. But he made sure it seemed like Stan had all the control in the situation.

Not having control had always been part of Sam’s treatment of Stan. That was why choking had been such a big part of it. Sam knew that Stan liked to have control of his situation, at least as much as he could. Stripping that away from him made it so much easier to manipulate him. All of that was exploited by Sam as often as possible, but Bill never did that, even though he had figured it out. Bill made sure that Stan knew that he was more than willing to let Stan take the lead, no matter the situation.

Normally, Bill was a little more reluctant to do things like that, he was a leader by nature, but not when it came to the boy staring up at him who was wearing one of Bill’s sweatshirt and a pair of sleep pants given to him as a gag Christmas present and the necklace that Bill had given to his as an actual gift. He was momentarily caught off guard by the thought of Sam seeing that necklace. Had he noticed it? Did he say anything about it? Was Stan still going to like being called birdie if he had? He was only pulled out of his thoughts by Stan. 

“Fine.” Stan grabbed Bill’s hand and noticed that there wasn’t really any force behind his gentle tug for Stan to get up. Once Stan was standing, he stopped moving even though Bill took a step. Stan tugged on Bill’s hand so he would get closer again. Once he was close enough Stan placed a small kiss on Bill’s cheek. Bill didn't need to say anything for Stan to know what he was going to ask. “I never really thanked you for earlier. So, that’s a token of my gratitude, I guess.”

“Come on, let’s get you some food.”

“Thank you.” The pair was silent as they found all the stuff to make both of them bowls of cereal. They ended up being out of Lucky Charms, they blamed Richie, so Stan settled for the far inferior Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Stan sat on their bed as Bill grabbed his laptop. He put something mindless on, mostly so the room didn’t stay silent.

“You know you don’t have to skip-” Stan started.

“If you’re about to tell me that I don’t have to skip my classes to stay with you, you’re going crazy.”

“You all are, aren’t you?”

“More than likely.”

“We should probably send emails to our professors.”

“Yeah.” Bill didn’t really have any problem not telling them that he wasn’t going to be there but Stan was responsible like that.

“Am I going to have to tell them?”

“We can just lie. I can say that I’m sick and you can say you’re staying back to take care of me and also not spread whatever it is I have. Or we can both say that we’re sick.”

“You’ve thought about using this excuse before.” Bill nodded.

“For various reasons.”

“And not just because you want to spend all day in bed with me?”

“I mean, that’s certainly a perk of using this excuse.” Stan chuckled slightly at that; it wasn’t much but it was more than Bill had heard in a few hours. He knew that Stan would return to normal slowly. It was a process that Bill may not have been around for the first time, but there was no way Stan was going to get rid of him for the process this time.

Stan finished his cereal and sat the empty container on the desk that sat at the foot of their bed. It was Stan’s desk although he generally did most of his work on the floor or on the bed so he could spread all of his stuff out. When he got comfortable again, he pulled the smaller blanket on their bed around his shoulders. Bill quickly finished his own food and followed Stan’s lead. Although instead of wrapping a blanket around his shoulders he wrapped one of his arms around Stan. They didn’t stay like that for long. Bill wasn’t sure which episode they were on when Stan moved into Bill’s lap and snuggled back into him.

Bill was a little surprised that Stan did that considering the events that had happened that night but Bill was not going to complain. He liked knowing that Stan was still there. Had Bill been able to read Stan’s mind he might not have been confused anymore. Stan had done it because he was trying to convince himself that this was all real, that it wasn’t some dream of a dying boy to pretend like his situation was fine. That Bill was real. That Bill caring about him was real. He knew it was by the way he could feel Bill’s heartbeat tapping against his back. He knew it was by the way Bill wrapped his arms around Stan and by the small kiss that was placed on the side of his head.

Stan had stopped paying attention to the show, he was lost in his own head again. How could he tell detectives, people that he didn’t even know, all the things that Sam had done to him like it was no problem, but he couldn’t even tell Bill any of it? Bill deserved to know, at least some of it. Bill was always there for him when things got bad. Stan could tell that Bill wanted to know but he never asked because he didn’t want to push Stan to do something he didn’t want to. But Stan wanted Bill to know.

He moved so that he wasn’t completely sitting on Bill’s lap anymore, his legs were still across Bill’s lap but that was it. He paused the show and took a deep breath. He heard Bill say his name but he didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t know how to start. Might as well just pick a spot.

“I’m sure you know about the whole, choking thing,” Bill nodded, he remembered the first nightmare and he could still see the bruises that were around Stan’s neck. “But that was least of it. He had so many rules. I had to be at his house at a specific time. I had to make sure no one knew I was there. He would look through my phone to see if I had recently texted anyone. He convinced me that my friends didn’t care, that’s why they didn’t do anything, even though Richie knew and I begged him not to do anything. I think he did it to try to get me to stop hanging out with them. I wasn’t allowed to tell him to stop. I wasn’t allowed to cry out or cry in general. If I broke any rules, there were punishments involved. The bigger the rule, the worse the punishment.”

“Stan, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.” Stan hadn’t really noticed that he had gotten slightly worked up as he spoke, but Bill noticed. It was the same kind of worked up he had been at the police station.

“But don’t you want to know?”

“Of course, I do, but not until you’re ready to tell me, which I can tell you aren’t really ready right now. So if that time is decades down the road, then I’m willing to wait that long.” Stan smiled at that, it was lopsided and small but it was genuine.

“What did I do to deserve you?” He didn’t think Bill would have a response to that.

“I could ask you the same question.”

“You deserve someone so much better than me.” In Stan’s head, he was kind of the worst. Bill didn’t need to take care and fix someone else. Maybe Stan wasn’t always like this but it seemed like he was like this enough that it should bother Bill, but it never seemed like it did.

“There is no one better than you. There’s no one that completes me more than you do. There’s no one in this universe that I could love more than I love you.”

“That’s a pretty bold statement.” Stan liked it a lot though.

“True though. We both know that I got around or whatever you want to call it, but I never felt anything for any of them. But you were different. I never saw you as a fling or just something to get my mind off of life. I always saw you as something so much more. Something real. And you are still something so real, more real than anything else.”

“I love you. More than you will ever know.”

“I think I have a pretty good idea. But I’m excited for you to prove me wrong.” Stan pushed himself closer to Bill and wrapped his still blanketed arms around Bill’s neck. He leaned in and connected their lips for a short moment.

“Thank you,” Stan whispered.

“For what?” Bill matched Stan’s low volume.

“Being you.”

“I love you. More than you’ll ever know.”

“Don’t steal my quality line just because you didn’t think of it.” Stan dropped his arms and backhanded Bill’s shoulder. They both laughed though.

Neither of them realized what time it was and who was on the other side of their middle room door. Eddie had been awake for an hour and thought that he would check on his roommates. But he didn’t bother opening the door since he heard the two of them talking and then laughing. Eddie smiled and went back to his own room. He got back into bed with Richie and decided that everything was going to be fine. And for once, he was going to be completely right.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how I feel about this one but like I wrote and finished this and I don't like having finished and non-posted works on my computer so lol here we are. 
> 
> Come fangirl with me/say hello on my Tumblr or Twitter. Both are @MargotCelvin !
> 
> Leave some comments and kudos if you wish, they fuel and terrify me.


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